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follow the ambulance

by Andy Math

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The Official story is that Hofman split so that Steve Hofmadams could fulfill a destiny a gypsy woman had shared with him at Cambridge's Strawberry Fair. The truth is, of course, far more sinister than anything inexplicable your children have ever said. And a secret. All I can share are the words ANCIENT STAFFORDHIRE CURSE. Any more would mean I can't cross busy roads for the rest of my life.
Hofman were, of course, giants of their genre (spiritually at least).
I was impressed by their arcane blend of cynicism and microphone cable play.
Steve, in turn, was impressed I had noticed the influence of Sufism in the latter, and so a brief shallow kinship formed, like condensation on the mirror above a urinal. Before the bum-shaped cloud of resentful adulation could return to oblivion, I stole a 'reach around Hofman" EP off him & covered the lot of it, plus a Christmas medley. This remains, in my opinon, the highpoint of a Fen of creative synergy.
But times, like trains, change, do they not?
Gavin is now convinced I am a lizard called Benny. I get great satisfaction every Hallowe'en dressing up in my Gojira suit, ringing his doorbell and appearing to vomit up flies on his slippers before running away. His missus says I'm childish, but she laughs hardest of all. I can still hear her at it as I'm driving the van past and throwing eggs at their dog. hi Bugs.

credits

released November 11, 1998
music by Hofman.
Body cavity noises by Bobby McGavetty, the digestive Organ.

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Ah! Records Nasty, UK

Ah! Records is officially the least successful record label of all time. Plagued for 30 years by bad luck, criminality, drug- induced recklessness and vandalism, only founders Bill Easton & Andy Matthews' belief in the merits of these releases have ensured Ah!'s continuity. Currently a toilet on a houseboat in Portugal, the office of Ah! introduces these gems to a new generation via bandcamp. x ... more

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