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media girls

by avon

/

about

1989. 'avon' (insistent in pissy legal documentation that the lower case remained 'part of the brand') were undisputably the most dislikable quango of musicians it has ever been my displeasure to encounter.
They were bitter, incestuous, unwashed - "all marketable characteristics", i'd foolishly convinced myself. But when they came to recording - My god, what a nightmare! They wouldn't park in the street, they wanted to use the roof so we had to get a winch from the RAF. We finally got the tracks down over a course of six years in six different studios, through three bankruptcies (and a civil war in Gamibia, when I had to secrete the 1" master tapes annally and dress as an eland). Then the band's birdtable monitor decided the number 6 was unlucky for them, so we had to wipe all the flugelhorn parts from said track. Not such problem as they'd been played by the bassist's 2 year old daughter and recorded on a Fisher Price dictaphone.
Finally, in 1996 we got the CD single pressed, covers printed, then I got a fax saying the band had collectively committed ritual suicide and would I settle their gas bill?
Over luncheon, I weighed things up over a brandy or two and then went out the back with a jug of Zippo and a broken air-con unit, destroyed all evidence of our association... until now. So, Martha Brady of 112 Cresswell Heights, Leamington - do you still want your £18.12? Tossers.

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released June 6, 1996

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Ah! Records Nasty, UK

Ah! Records is officially the least successful record label of all time. Plagued for 30 years by bad luck, criminality, drug- induced recklessness and vandalism, only founders Bill Easton & Andy Matthews' belief in the merits of these releases have ensured Ah!'s continuity. Currently a toilet on a houseboat in Portugal, the office of Ah! introduces these gems to a new generation via bandcamp. x ... more

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